Joke joke joke?

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH





We need = I want





It%26#039;s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now





Do what you want = You%26#039;ll pay for this later





We need to talk = I need to complain





Sure...Go ahead = I don%26#039;t want you to





I%26#039;m not upset = Of course I%26#039;m upset, you moron!





You%26#039;re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot





You%26#039;re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?





I%26#039;m not emotional! And I%26#039;m not over reacting! = I%26#039;ve got my period





Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs





This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house





I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and


wallpaper... ..





I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of


white





Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!





I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep





Do you love me? = I%26#039;m going to ask for something expensive





How much do you love me? = I did something today you%26#039;re really not


going to like





I%26#039;ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game


on T.V.





Is my butt fat? = Tell me I%26#039;m beautiful





You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me





Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you%26#039;re dead.]





Yes = No





No = No





Maybe = No





I%26#039;m sorry = You%26#039;ll be sorry





Do you like this recipe? = It%26#039;s easy to fix, so you%26#039;d better get


used to it





Was that the baby?= Why don%26#039;t you get out of bed and walk him until


he goes to sleep





I%26#039;m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important





All we%26#039;re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that


we%26#039;re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I


need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look


great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?





THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING %26quot;WHAT%26#039;S WRONG?%26quot;.....





The same old thing = Nothing





Nothing = Everything





Everything = My PMS is acting up





Nothing, really = It%26#039;s just that you%26#039;re such a pain in the butt





I don%26#039;t want to talk about it = Go away, I%26#039;m still building up steam





THE WOMEN%26#039;S GUIDE TO MEN%26#039;S ENGLISH





%26quot;I%26#039;m hungry%26quot; = I%26#039;m hungry





%26quot;I%26#039;m sleepy%26quot; = I%26#039;m sleepy





%26quot;I%26#039;m tired%26quot; = I%26#039;m tired





%26quot;Do you want to go to a movie?%26quot; = I%26#039;d eventually like to have sex


with you





%26quot;Can I take you out to dinner?%26quot; = I%26#039;d eventually like to have sex


with you





%26quot;Can I call you sometime?%26quot; = I%26#039;d eventually like to have sex with you





%26quot;May I have this dance?%26quot; = I%26#039;d eventually like to have sex with you





%26quot;Nice dress!%26quot; = Nice cleavage!





%26quot;You look tense, let me give you a massage.%26quot; = I want to fondle you





%26quot;What%26#039;s wrong?%26quot; = I don%26#039;t see why you are making such a big deal out


of this





%26quot;What%26#039;s wrong?%26quot; = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological


trauma are you going through now?





%26quot;What%26#039;s wrong?%26quot; = I guess sex tonight is out of the question





%26quot;I%26#039;m bored%26quot; = Do you want to have sex?





%26quot;I love you%26quot; = Let%26#039;s have sex now





%26quot;I love you, too%26quot; = Okay, I said it...we%26#039;d better have sex now!





%26quot;Yes, I like the way you cut your hair%26quot; = I liked it better before





%26quot;Yes, I like the way you cut your hair%26quot; = $50 and it doesn%26#039;t look


any different!





%26quot;Let%26#039;s talk%26quot; = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a


deep person and maybe then you%26#039;d like to have sex with me





%26quot;Will you marry me?%26quot; = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex


with other guys





%26quot;I like that one better%26quot; (while shopping) = Pick any freakin%26#039; dress


and let%26#039;s go home!!!

Joke joke joke?
yeah .. the joke is .. that all of this are real m8 ;) :))
Reply:Haha! Guffaw Guffaw!
Reply:I%26#039;ve been married for 24 years (or is it 42?) and you hit everything right on the head.
Reply:haha thats a good one LOL
Reply:GOOD INFO AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHAT MY BF MEANS WHEN HE SAYS SOME OF THIS STUFF!!!!
Reply:boring theres a new one for you
Reply:i think u kind of under stand both sex but i dissigree with some of the female ones.
Reply:Well, since you know the code you should have no trouble pleasing any more!! LOL
Reply:funny
Reply:that was gay
Reply:Um....Real %26quot;funny.%26quot; It%26#039;s not stereotyping- but I find it offensive.
Reply:Hecka funny. Thats like 100% true. LOL ☺
Reply:I thought the man to female was funny.
Reply:i love it!!!
Reply:HA HA HA,


those were HILARIOUS!!!
Reply:I got a kick out of majority of those. We woman don%26#039;t always mean different things... at least not all the time... maybe a lot... ok, so we do, %26#039;do what you want.%26#039; (use the guide)



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