Men's vs Women's English...!?

WOMEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:





1. Yes = No


2. No = No


3. Maybe = No


4. We need = I want


5. I am sorry = you%26#039;ll be sorry


6. We need to talk = I need to complain


7. Sure, go ahead = I don%26#039;t want you to


8. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later


9. I am not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!


10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you%26#039;re dead


11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me


12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs


13. You%26#039;re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot


14. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive


15. It%26#039;s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now


16. You%26#039;re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


17. I%26#039;ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV


18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you%26#039;re really not going to like





MEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:





1. Yes = Yes


2. No = No


3. Maybe = Maybe


4. I am hungry = I am hungry


5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy


6. I am thirsty = I need a beer


7. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!


8. I love you = Let%26#039;s have sex now


9. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?


10. What%26#039;s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question?


11. May I have this dance? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


12. Can I call you sometime? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you


16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.


17. Let%26#039;s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I%26#039;d like to have sex with you.


18. I don%26#039;t think those shoes go with that outfit = I%26#039;m gay

Men%26#039;s vs Women%26#039;s English...!?
Very funny, and so true...lol
Reply:thats very good x have a star
Reply:That just about sums it up. lmao 10/10.
Reply:PARDON!
Reply:Seen this a few times before, But yes it is quite funny.
Reply:That%26#039;s cute.
Reply:very true
Reply:Nice one! Had a good laugh, Thanks.
Reply:hahahahahaaaaa


Soooooo funnyyyy


LOL


*Big Grin*
Reply:hmm...i don%26#039;t know what school you went to but i don%26#039;t speak like that...
Reply:That%26#039;s good ,I was bored %26amp; I am still bored= %26amp; add number 12%26amp;14
Reply:LOL.





Have a great day!
Reply:Ha ha...
Reply:funny but what is the question
Reply:It sure is true...


hehehe





it got a smile on ma face though....


Thanx!!
Reply:hahaha...very funny. It made my great day even greater.
Reply:spot on,why did i get married when women are so complicated
Reply:Oh how true!! he he he 10/10 ~STAR~


:-)





xx
Reply:haha that is so true lol. thanks for that, you made my boring day at work much better lol
Reply:Very good indeed..meaning..very good indeed.(will you have sex with me?)
Reply:hehee
Reply:Yup, an oldie but a goodie! 10/10!!
Reply:That%26#039;s so funny, but oh so true!! Lol!!
Reply:10/10
Reply:LOL! Thanks:-)
Reply:HAH!!! Nice one!!!! 9/10!!!
Reply:lol, so true too
Reply:Bloody brilliant!!!





its all true,i%26#039;ve said a few of those myself lol.





xxx
Reply:lol
Reply:Stereotype humour ceased to be funny a long time ago, at least among non-americans and non-drunkards.





Admittedly it does highlight quite clearly that I need to remove myself from both genders entirely to a position where I won%26#039;t automatically be stereotyped incorrectly. To be a victim of the female assumption that men all think about sex constantly is not a fun thing.





Anyhow, I enjoyed ruining your joke. ^_^



C++